Thursday, August 11, 2011
The Naked Mole Rat
Naked Mole Rats grow to be roughly the length of Rosanne Barr's fully erect penis and are graded in size on the RBEP, or arbep scale. As one can see from the picture, they have evolved beyond the need of hair, eyes, ears, wrinkle free skin, and a soul. Dr. Candlwick C. Brickman, a noted Naked Mole Rat scholar, recently discovered that their rapid evolution in these areas had begun some 70,000 years go and was brought on by the introduction of puppies and small humanoids to their diet.
Young NMRs quickly learn their place in this wonderfully complex society. After six months (or 13 human years) of federally subsidized schooling, they have a wide variety of fulfilling careers to choose from. Some move on to become worker drones, others simple drones, and the few elite are selected to be workers. Recently there has been in increase in non-drone activities such as hanging out in the tunnels gnawing on pot-root, sullenly mocking the elder drones, and wearing their wrinkled skin low around the ankles. Some have blamed this on bad parenting but this author knows exactly whom to blame. NMR teachers unions and their thuggish uncaring attitude toward work.
Next week: Sex and Teen Culture in a small seaside NMR community!