Well, I got taken. Feel like a damn fool. As many know, my wife of eight year ran off with a salsa dancer. As a result of this, we are divorced, a shocking development I know, but those things happen when one of the married pair runs off with a salsa dancer.
So, I'm a pretty lonely old guy. I sit at home alone seven days a week and stare at the TV. I do other things to, Jesus, whudyawant from me? Being desperate, I signed up for Match.com. I mean, they have all those great ads on TV, they must be legit. 6 month service, filled out the profile and began to search and mail. Much as I expected, nobody answered my emails except one gal who said thanks but no thanks.
And then. . .someone winked at me. I was taken aback, no one had ever paid attention to my profile. My heart was aflutter. . .yes aflutter, screw you! And so I emailed the gal. She was 36 and (here is where I should have instantly guessed it was a scam) she was actually good looking. She answered and as many people on Match.com do, she recommended we communicate with our normal email accounts.
Now, a smart person would have had bells going off. Somebody on the net you do not know wanting to email through accounts not part of the service. I should have known it was a scam, but you see, I am lonely. I'm lonely and desperate because I know I am going to die alone when I fall down or bleed out from my Crohns, cause nobody is here with me. And so I jumped at it hardly believing this turn of good luck.
And after one email, a spambot invaded my hotmail and immediately began sending viagra ads to all my friends and family.
So what did I learn? Hmm, lets see, internet dating services are not a place I wish to go anymore. My writer friend tells me it is better to be single, she's a divorcee as well. And as tired as I am of being alone, I am beginning to agree with her.
Boo freakin hoo, eh?