Not Being Real

I used to joke in high school and college that I was a ghost. But I've always had this feeling that I was not quite real, like floating through life and watching it but never actually considering myself part of it. It has led to all sorts of weird ways of living. I don't buy the food I like sometimes, because to do so means being a real person. The very thought of beginning a retirement or investing seems as likely as visiting Saturn, I am just not real and that is something real people do.